Animec Vol. 30, May 1 1983
GenPro Hanzai Chronicles
This may be a journal of General Products’ prosperity, or it may be a chronicle of a lifetime, or it may be a title that I don’t understand well.
by Toshio Okada & Yasuhiro Takeda
Illustration by Mimi Akai
New Series, Part 1
“Proper Science Fiction”
Takeda: Oh, hey! We’ve got a customer!
Okada: How many days has it been? He can’t leave until he buys something!
Customer: Ge-GenPro, I need to ask you about something. Please help me.
Okada: What are you asking?
Customer: Actually, I’m an anime fan. SF fans are making fun of SF anime these days, right? I want to join an SF circle to avoid being ridiculed, but will anime fans be discriminated against if they join an SF circle?
Takeda: What a bold thing to ask. Do you know anything about the SF world?
Customer: No, not at all. I watch SF anime, but that’s not SF, is it? When I read Animec, it said something about a fight between them.
Okada: Hmm, I see. Is there a way to join the SF circle without being made fun of… I can tell you, but it won’t be free…
Customer: I’ll buy it! I’ll buy Mia-chan’s trainer and a huge Daicon anime sticker!
Takeda: (smirking) Thank you very much. The trainer is available in LL, L, and M, in black, grey, and light blue.
Customer: Light blue L, please.
Okada: The trainer is 4,500 yen and the sticker is 600 yen. Thank you very much.
Customer: Okay, I’ll take it then.
Takeda: Well, you want to join an SF circle to make a big name for yourself in the anime world. And you want to know how to avoid being made fun of there. I understand. The first thing you need to know is that there is a very strong pyramid structure in the SF world. From the top, there’s BNFs (Big Name Fans), doujinshi writers, doujinshi editors, general fans, manga fans, foreign SF movie fans, then marupe, anime guys, and further down there’s “that tokusatsu fan who still talks about Godzilla, even though he’s over 18.”
Customer: Wow, it’s complicated. What do you mean by big name fans and “marupe”?
Okada: First of all, a BNF is a well-known fan. Even though he’s famous, he’s not great or anything, But there are only about 10,000 people in this world, so you can be famous just because you have a big voice or because you’re older. When you become famous, there are people who think, “He’s famous, so he must be great,” It’s enough to know that such a thing exists. What you need to be more careful about is the next word, “marupe.”
Takeda: Yeah, if you carelessly admit that your level is “marupe,” you’ll be in the shadows for the rest of your life in this world.
Customer: That’s scary. Is it an infectious disease or something?
Okada: I don’t know if I’d call it a disease. Well, I’m talking about fans of Perry Rhodan. He has a long-running SF series that has been called “the original Yamato” because a character who was supposed to be dead came back to life in the middle of it. It’s looked down upon in the SF world, so if someone asks you, “Have you read Marupe?” you want to say something like, “My brother’s reading it, but I’m not.”
Customer: Oh, I see. I understand. By the way, when I join an SF circle, will they ask me things like, “What are you reading?”
Takeda: Yes, they will! They’ll see how much of an SF fan you are by your answer. For example, if you say, “I like Tomino’s work in the Sonorama library,” That’s the end of you. They’ll point fingers at you and say, “He’s an anime guy, you’re a fake SF fan.”
Customer: P-p-please tell me! What should I say?
Okada: Well, you’ll have to buy something else…
Customer: I will! I’ll buy a Daicon anime cup and a bag.
Takeda: Thank you very much. The cup is 200 yen and the bag is 500 yen!
Okada: All right, I’ll tell you what to do. First of all, say this: “I haven’t bought a magazine for about two years. I used to like the old Kuten magazine.” The key here is that the name SF Magazine is abbreviated. “I haven’t bought a magazine for two years now” has always been a synonym for mania. If you get this wrong, you’ll get caught when someone else is talking about the magazine. If you say something like, “Well, this week’s Gakuran 8th Grader is another laugh-out-loud SF issue,” you’ll be ridiculed. If you say you like Cordwainer Smith, you will be respected in Japan because not many people have read it. It’s best to recite these cliches as early as possible.
Takeda: If someone asks you something about anime, say, “Well, if right-wing anime like Gundam and Macross are SF, then Marupe is hard. Hahaha.” If you have the time, you should mumble something like, “Well, even Yamato won the Nebula Award…” and it’ll be a big hit. The Nebula is a prestigious award chosen by fans themselves. But Yamato won it a few years ago. Now, the people who are supposed to tell anime fans to get lost are actually the ones who made anime fans aware of the Nebula Award, so it’s a disgrace to them.
Okada: That’s how it goes.
Customer: Oh, by the way, there seems to be a word “tokusa” under anime. What do you do if someone asks you something about it?
Takeda: “I haven’t seen it!” is one response.
Okada: Yes, that’s right. And, “Nothing’s been good since Mr. Fukushima passed away.” When they hear his name, all the SF people will get down on their knees at once.
Takeda: It’s a kind of reflex.
Customer: Oh, so even someone like Noriaki Ikeda of Animec…
Okada: That’s right. In the SF world, he’s not treated as a human being.
Takeda: “Ikeda? Oh, that Kaitei Gunkan.” Or, “That walking Doraemon maser car.” They say horrible things like that.
Okada: Even if I go to Animec‘s editorial office, “Ikeda? Oh, that Batten Robomaru who never protected Shimekiri? Isn’t he dead somewhere?” That’s the level of respect he’s getting, on par with Editor-in-Chief Komaki.
Takeda: You’re really lucky to be into anime. If you picked tokusatsu, you’d be a lost cause.
Customer: Oh, I understand. No, I think I understand. By the way, what if they find out that I am an anime guy? What should I do?
Okada: If that happens, it’s all over.
Takeda: You’d have to get a sex change.
Customer: In other words, I have to become a woman…
Takeda: Yes, there’s a chronic shortage of women in the SF world. Think about it, they make fun of people who don’t know SF, sometimes says things that don’t make sense, and they’re weirdly proud. How can such a guy get a girlfriend?
Okada: When I go to SF conventions, there are only one or two girls, and they’re usually taken. The other day, a certain circle did a special feature on “This is a girl.” The girl had three legs, seven hands, two breasts lined up vertically, and the nose and mouth were mixed up.
Takeda: They completely forgot what a girl looks like. It’s sad.
Okada: This fanzine is selling well in the SF world. I guess everyone has forgotten about it. So, you, if you ever become a girl and say, “I like anime, but I want to read novels too. Someone tell me about SF.” You would instantly become the queen of the SF world.
Customer: No, I don’t want to go that far…I mean…
Takeda: You’re spineless. If you want to be big in the SF world, you have to go that far.
Okada: For now, just shout out loud that you hate anime and you’ll be fine. Just do your best.
Customer: Yes. I understand. I’m feeling more confident. Okay, then!
Takeda: Hey, Okada-kun. He took it all seriously and went home.
Okada: I don’t know which SF research institute he’s going to, but it’s probably Panic…”
A few days later, at a certain SF circle…
“Hey, the new guy who just came in, he’s talking about Latin literature and folk tales.”
“He also makes fun of Marupe, and says he hates anime…”
”What if he finds out I’m watching Macross?”
“What if he finds out that I’m recording Dynaman on video?”
“Okay, let’s change our name to Anime Circle from today and make him the odd one out!”
If you would like to receive the GenPro ’83 summer catalog (the latest catalog), please send a self-addressed stamped envelope (with your name and address) and a 300 yen stamp to [address]. We will send you a fun-filled catalog around the end of May.
Do you know what SF Con is?
The biggest yearly event in the SF world, involving fans, pros, novels, manga, anime, music, and more. This is the 22nd annual Japan Science Fiction Convention. This year, the convention will be held at Kosei-Nenkin Kaikan in Osaka on August 20 and 21, and will be called Daicon IV after the host city. Why don’t you join us and immerse yourself in SF?
If you’re interested, please send a self-addressed, stamped envelope with a 70-yen stamp to the address on the left. An otherworldly space that transcends reality awaits you.
(Note: Please refrain from attending the convention if you are under 15 years of age.)